It's funny to me. Usually at the start of birthday week, I've done something birthday-ish durin the weekend, like have a party, or go to Austin, or New York, or see Josh Groban in concert (he is on a lot of birthday celebrations. He's very accommodating that way, for a fake famous husband.). This is the first year that I am getting ready for show number two during the start of birthday week. I don't really dig having our choir shows during birthday week. I've expressed my disinterest once, and we're not doing it again. Really I think it throws everyone off a little bit. So it's not just to please me and my need for attention.
I got the nicest compliment yesterday. I struggle privately with self-esteem. My body is something that I've come to love and I've come to appreciate after many, many years of not doing so. But I understand that to society, my body is not ideal. And as someone who is constantly afraid of letting other people down and being embarrassed and having people ignore or fade away from me because of who I am and how I dress and what I look like, that's a struggle for me privately. I try very hard to put a confident face out into the world, because I know that even if I don't see them, there are little girls out there who look like me and who struggle with what I struggle with who are needing confident older women to show them that it is not only OKAY to let your inner light shine as bright as possible, it is encouraged, it is appreciated, and it is beloved. So anyways. After our choir show last night, I changed back into the overalls I had on during the day so I could leave my show clothes at the arts center for today. These are just basic long overalls, rip near the knee, nothing special. But I was told so many times how cute I looked, and when I brushed it off (as I do because I have trouble accepting compliments), a friend of mine said "Have you met Ashley? She always looks cute. Like even in sweats she's adorable." Biggest compliment she could have given me. It made my day. Thanks Erin.
Happy birthday week to me, and happy birthday week to Steph! I love you so!!!
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